Jamie Fehr

I am not shy about the fact that I have been pulled over by the boys in blue countless times and I won’t deny that I have received more than my fair share of written and verbal warnings. I usually toss out the number 14 when I talk about it and I want you to know that 14 is an entirely arbitrary number that sounds about right. In comparison, however, to date I have received only three tickets for traffic violations since I’ve had a license.

1. Speeding
2. Failure to Stop
3. Not wearing my seat belt

I really have deserved to have a lot more for things like speeding, towing a trailer that didn’t have lights, speeding, and speeding yet somehow I can’t seem to be punished. I don’t know what to attribute this phenomenon to, my brother, who has similar driving habits seems to be a ticket magnet, maybe there’s some sort of conspiracy going on.

Anyway, the highway was empty and I was in the zone, I was doing 14km/h (so I was later told) over the posted limit when all of a sudden I saw a police cruiser on my tail. “No lights” I observed to myself and I decided that I should carry on normally. “He already has all the right he needs to pull me over” I thought.

The cruiser slowly but surely starts to overtake me, but still no lights. I am eventually forced to slow down as the result of being boxed in by a mini-van and the cruiser but eventually me and the cruiser work our way around, he continues edging ahead of me in the fast lane and I maintain my speed in the slow lane.

I am getting a deserved ticket I thought to myself. The cruiser had begun to slow in the fast lane and I begin to overtake him. He’s most definitely going to pull me over when I pass him I reasoned yet I felt it would be hypocritical of me to slow down now. I deserve a speeding ticket and I have for a long time I muttered under my breath, I pushed forward.

Sure enough, the red and blue lights started flashing in my rear-view as soon as I could see the cruiser in them. I pull onto the shoulder and slow to a stop. A lone cop gets out of the cruiser and walks towards me. I pass him my license and registration.

He tells me that the 10k/h over speed that he was doing in the fast lane should be plenty, I tell him I don’t want to be a hypocrite. He asks me probing questions about my business on the road. I answer with as little detail as possible.

He then passes me back my papers and says that everything checks out. I am a little stunned. He tells me not to be so cheeky next time and gets back in his cruiser. I am speechless.

I got back into my car and proceeded to speed the whole way to my destination.